Hey all. Welcome to the saltiest, non-Tottenham Hotspuriest edition of The Hiatus that may ever be written. It’s about VAR. It’s not very long. Buckle up.
People accepted VAR upon its inception because it promised to do one thing: get rid of clear and obvious errors made by referees on the pitch. Here’s why most of us hate VAR: it’s failed to live up to its promise time and time again.
Instead of cleaning up calls, it’s made the interpretation even more fucking existential. Can’t wait for the first Phd to be written about what the language “clear and obvious” actually means. God knows I couldn’t tell you, nor could the Video Assistant Referees. Us fans are getting the same inconsistency but under the guise of certainty. We were sold a bill of goods, friends, and the goods fucking suck.
Now, I have to admit VAR has been consistent in one aspect: chalking off goals where the attacker is one or two centimetres offside. A situation the average fan never cared about at all. If someone’s armpit is offside, they aren’t spiritually offside, you know? Yet all of us have been subjected to the stupid red and blue line coming together while the replay official attempts to figure out the exact moment a ball was played even though video tech doesn’t capture reality at that speed yet. Good shit all around, isn’t it. Goooooood shit.
In ending, VAR sucks. The best a club can hope for is all teams in their division to be fucked over a similar amount of times by the end of a full season because the system cannot be counted on to serve its purpose. It fails to do what it promised yet it does something we never wanted.
FIFA, please, put it in the bin, take it to the curb, burn some sage, and let’s all move on with our lives.